A Discovery of Witches review ´ eBook or Kindle ePUB

free download ✓ eBook or Kindle ePUB ç Deborah Harkness

Rtive glance and a few notes she banishes the book to the stacks But her discovery sets a fantastical underworld stirring and a horde of daemons witches and vampires soon descends upon the library Diana has stumbled upon a coveted treasure lost for centuries and she is the only creature who can break its spell Debut novelist Deborah Harkness has crafted a mesmerizing and addictive read eual part. THIS IS ACTUALLY ZERO stars but it won't be listed if I put zero so just so you know ZEROI thought this was going to be a really entertaining read but I'm giving up The main character makes no sense whatsoever We're told that she isn't able to do magic and then she does magic HuhAnd then we have the vampire sneaking in her window and watching her sleep fascinated by her sleeping Where have I read this before Let's see can anyone think of where they might have read this AnyoneI don't care that she glows when she sleeps I already know it's because it's linked to her ignoring her magic or because it's trapped inside her or because she's simply too cheap to buy a nightlightyes I made that last one up but I'm not really intrigued enough to find out What I've learned thus far is that the author is very proud of her knowledge of Oxford and the library there I could have used far less information about walking around the town where she goes rowing where she's sitting in the library for gosh sakes and other unimportant minutiae I got this book before it was listed as part of a trilogy BEWARE series alert I might have found the energy to finish this one off but I can't imagine reading three books like this one Nope not gonna do itFifty pages That's it Thank you and good nightHad to create a brand new shelf for this one books i choose not to finishOn the positive side I'VE DONE IT I've actually stopped reading a book that I felt was a waste of time I didn't think I would but I did it Yes I know it's a small thing to celebrate but I'm going to do my happy dance anyway

summary A Discovery of Witches

A Discovery of WitchesS history and magic romance and suspense Diana is a bold heroine who meets her eual in vampire geneticist Matthew Clairmont and gradually warms up to him as their alliance deepens into an intimacy that violates age old taboos This smart sophisticated story harks back to the novels of Anne Rice but it is as contemporary and sensual as the Twilight series with an extra serving of historical realis. For mere two bucks I rescued this book from a dusty shelf of a local Goodwill store adopting it with high hopes For free I returned it to the same shelf a few weeks later with dejected feeling sandwiching it between a rejected copy of 'Twilight' and a tattered paperback with a shirtless guy on the coverAt least it found its rightful spot And I'm out only two dollars And I would have gladly paid to free my own bookshelf of this bookSo it goes My books mercilessly rejected the intruder The appeal of it besides the beautiful cover deceptive in its alluring elegance of royal blue was the introduction of a supposedly adult professional accomplished heroine a history professor to boot who allows us to take a fresh new look at supernatural occurrences rooted in history and in a book written by a historian too No sappy teen romance no supernatural entities masking as high school bad boys no helpless heroines in need of rescue as Diana the protagonist is supposedly from a strong magical line herself The reality of it was a book that many characterized as 'Twilight' for adults which is an uncannily accurate description We have a whiny insecure heroine her personality is roughly that of a wet dishrag who nevertheless is treated like a special snowflake for no reason whatsoever who falls head over heels over the first remotely hot and mind bogglingly rich vampire who a doesn't really need to drink blood b has an insane amount of 'protectiveness' which really boils down to stalking and over macho patriarchalism c is hauntingly tortured by his dark past and d is an intolerable self centered rage prone jerkass Before my brain explodes with distaste here is a brief list of things that are NOT sexy or attractive stalking kidnapping drugging an unsuspecting person patronizing condescension snobbery uncontrollable anger murderous tendencies codependency and neverending smug name droppingHere is a brief list of things that do not have to happen when heroine falls in love helplessness fully surrendering control dramatic drop in intelligence sudden childishness unexplained neverending sniffing of the male love interest need to be constantly rescued codependency and propensity for irrational actsPlease feel free to add to any of the lists aboveThe plot unfolds at a snail pace getting easily distracted by an endless tedious repetition of any trite details of the characters' lives wardrobe meals tea lovestruck gazing enough wine to call an impromptu Alcoholics Anonymous meeting┬╣ endless hours in the library tea lovestruck gazing athletic activities wine food tea wardrobe lovestruck gazing repetitive description of basically EVERYTHING in almost a diary style padding the meager plot to an impressive doorstopper size of the finished product┬╣ Actually maybe consuming wine in the uantities described in this book would have helped with the boredomOn the other thought wine tends to make me sleepy So does this book It would have been uite a snoozefest combo Not to mention the absolutely ridiculous amount of page space given to an inter species yoga session Could have been worse I suppose; it could have been vampire baseball Or vampire cross stitching for all the excitement it bringsBecause of such insane repetitive padding of the tiny meager plot lines the sizable book comes to an end right as real plot is about to start unfolding Basically it ends at the point where most self respecting books would start but of course those self respecting books would not have subjected the reader to such a hefty amount of tedious superfluous detail to wonder whether the author was paid per word writtenIn a nutshell this book was boring and unoriginal needlessly long and devoid of any exciting plot full of filler exposition and perpetuating ridiculous ideas about the roles of male and female love interests Shame that such a dreck gets such a lovely cover 1 star An interesting thing I observed something I haven't seen on Goodreads yet when I try to look up the uotes for this book that's what I see uotes Not AvailableDeborah Harkness has reuested that her work not be excerpted or shared on Goodreads We are complying with her reuest and have removed all her uotes To see the DMCA takedown please click hereI wonder if the slew of negative reviews is in any way responsible for this silliness

Deborah Harkness ç 3 read

A Discovery of Witches review ´ eBook or Kindle ePUB ☆ A richly inventive novel about a centuries old vampire a spellbound witch and the mysterious manuscript that draws them together Deep in the stacks of Oxford's Bodleian Library young scholar Diana Bishop unwittingly calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript in the course oA richly inventive novel about a centuries old vampire a spellbound witch and the mysterious manuscript that draws them together Deep in the stacks of Oxford's Bodleian Library young scholar Diana Bishop unwittingly calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript in the course of her research Descended from an old and distinguished line of witches Diana wants nothing to do with sorcery; so after a fu. okay so the good things I liked the worldmythologyetc and was amused by the Anne Rice reference And I also liked the subtle pro gay marriage message It could have actually been a lot of fun except for the romance part which went like this SPOILERSDiana I am exceptionally good at being a historian of science and I even have a job at Yale I am also a witch but I don't use my powers MuchGosh this mysterious manuscript sure is mysteriousMatthew I AM TALL I WENT THROUGH YOUR PAPERS AND THEN CAME TO YOUR HOUSE AND WATCHED YOU SLEEPALSO I'M AN ANCIENT VAMPIREDiana Um okayMatthew SAY WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO SOME VAMPIRE YOGA WITH METHAT IS NOT A EUPHEMISM BY THE WAYDiana I guess so I could do that after I go rowing and then run several milesMatthew I HAVE A LOT OF USEFUL INFORMATION THAT I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ALSO YOU SMELL AMAZING I CAN BARELY CONTROL MYSELF WHEN YOU'RE AROUNDDiana Oh well I'm sure it's fineMatthew I FORBID YOU TO DO VARIOUS THINGSALSO YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER SO WE'RE GOING TO VISIT MY MOM IN FRANCE DID I MENTION I'M FRENCHDiana Hey for serious you can't just tell me what to do all the timeMatthew I AM COLDLY FURIOUSALSO IT MAKES ME SAD WHEN YOU DISOBEY ME AND I HATE BEING SADYOU KNOW WHAT I WAS SAD ONCE A THOUSAND YEARS AGO AND THEN I KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND THEN IT HAPPENED THIS OTHER TIME AND I KILLED MY LOVER JUST SO YOU KNOWDiana Oh right Silly me So wilful Anyway should we have sex nowMatthew WHAT WHY WOULD WE DO THATMatthew OH BY THE WAY THIS IS MY HOUSEKEEPER SHE IS ALSO AN ANCIENT VAMPIRE BUT FOR SOME REASON I GUESS SHE LIKES KEEPING HOUSEHousekeeper Oh hi here is some herbal tea Make sure to drink it every day and DON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES WHEN YOU BREW IT Um because it might taste bad not that it's having any effect on you without your knowledge OR ANYTHING LIKE THATDiana Gosh thanks Everyone is so nice here Matthew YOUR EYES ARE LIKE STARLIGHT NOWDiana I love youMatthew HANG ON I NEED TO GO BACK TO ENGLAND FOR SOMETHINGMatthew I AM BACK FROM ENGLAND I LOVE YOUDiana I feel our souls are as one These few short weeks have shown me that you are my one true loveMatthew OH HEY DID I MENTION YOU KNOW THAT TIME I KISSED YOU IN FRONT OF MY MOM WELL THAT MEANS WE'RE MARRIEDDiana Actually you did not mention that But does this mean we can have sexMatthew HAHAHAHA DON'T BE SILLY Matthew OH AND ANOTHER THING THERE IS THIS COMPACT OR SOMETHING THAT SAYS WITCHES AND VAMPIRES CANNOT MARRY SO THERE ARE A BUNCH MORE PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL USDiana WhatMatthew OH YEAH TOTALLY BUT DON'T WORRY BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT YOU ARE THE MOST MAGICAL OF ALL THE WITCHESDiana Yeah except my powers are all repressed anyway I'm just going to go outside for a second and I'm sure I won't get kidnapped and tortured or anythingMatthew I WILL KILL EVERYONE AND SUMMON THE SECRET BROTHERHOOD OF ANCIENT SECRET KNIGHTSMatthew's mom and housekeeper Wow calm downMatthew OKAY I WILL JUST KILL THIS ONE LADY THENDiana Yay I learned to fly I 3 you Matthew I am so lucky to be your bride Let's go visit my aunt in America Did I tell you I'm from AmericaAnyway let's have some sex WooMatthew I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUTAunt Why are you drinking contraceptive teaDiana I have no idea Not because of all the sex I'm having that's for sureMatthew WHAT I WILL KILL YOU HOUSEKEEPERDiana Never mind we have to go to the past and do something about that mysterious manuscript Did I mention I loooove youMatthew SPEAKING OF WHICH CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE WAS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH ME WE SHOULD GO SAY HIDiana I see So is that why we can't have sexMatthew WHAT NO IT'S BECAUSE OF THE PURITY AND SPECIALNESSMatthew ALSO HAVE I MENTIONED HOW YOU HAVE ALLLLL OF THE WITCH POWERS YOU ARE THE BEST WITCH OF ALL TIMEDiana I love youTHE END