review John Dies at the End 103

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review John Dies at the End 103 ✓ STOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO don't put it down It's too late They're watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might want to change yours You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages about the sauce about Korrok about theSers a window into another dimension John and I never had the chance to say no You still do I'm sorry to have involved you in this I really am But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result it is crucial you keep one thing in mind None of this was my fau. This stopped me The cops called us What they got a ghost they want us to check out Like we're fucking Scooby Doo Premise David Wong and his friend John are kind of ghost busters they see things that others can't This is because of a drug that they have consumed which is named soya sauce for the lack of a better name and it does look a bit like that apparently I liked it at the start I really did The jokes the way the horror and humor were combined made me keep on turning the pages There were lots of action scenes and the story reached it's climax I thought we are done and it would have been a good ending but then the author decidedThe Part 2 of the book commenced The story started feeling disjointed and I was losing track as to how all this is connected to the first part It started getting frustrating the jokes got old the action scene started getting dis interesting And finally when I thought this book is going to get overWe started with the Part 3 This was the part where I actually thought of DNFing the book but some perverse sense of self torture made me continue reading this I had completed around 60% of the book and did not want to abandon this I also really wanted to know how the author is going to wrap up this trainwreck of a story The Epilogue itself was soo big that I just wanted it to be over Skimming through the book made even less sense of what I was reading as the story just jumped around and I had to read everything like a good little girlDid the ending make sense Yes yes it didWill I be picking up the next book of this series

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STOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO don't put it down It's too late They're watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might want to change yours You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages about the sauce about Korrok. VERY HIP VERY BIZARRO VERY CREEPY AND VERY VERY EVEN BRILLIANTLY FUNNYIN A CRUDE JUVENILE WAYI read a lot I read everyday and go through a number of books every week Reading as much as I do I get a real jolly on when I come across a book like this because it is so different from the usual fare I'm not sure I can adeuately describe the book but the phrase that seems most apt is brilliantly stupidwith surreal” incredibly funny and dude that’s gross close behind Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news Movies taught me that For every one Jesus you get a million zombies And watch out for Molly See if she does anything unusual There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that see what I meanAs far as the plot not much to say that isn't in the book description David and John are a couple of smart cynical directionless guys I think the book does such a great job speaking for itself that here are a few excerpts from the book where David our narrator gives some insight into his worldviewmindset From day one it was like society was this violent complicated dance and everybody had taken lessons but me Knocked to the floor again climbing to my feet each time bloody and humiliated Always met with disapproving faces waiting for me to leave so I'd stop fucking up the party The wanted to push me outside where the freaks huddled in the cold Out there with the misfits the broken the glazed eye types who can only watch as the normals enjoy their shiny new cars and careers and marriages and vacations with the kids The freaks spend their lives shambling around wondering how they got left out mumbling about conspiracy theories and bigfoot sightings Their encounters with the world are marked by awkward conversations and stifled laughter hidden smirks and rolled eyes And worst of all pity AND later And no one cares You kick and scream and cry out in the darkness and no answer comes You rage against the unfathomable injustice and two blocks away some guy watches a baseball game and scratches his balls Scientists talk about dark matter the invisible mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars Dark Matter makes up 9999 percent of the universe and they don't know what it is Well I know It's apathy That's the truth of it Pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives A Fuck Well these two guys discover that a new drug called soy sauce has allowedforced them to see into an alternative realityparallel dimension where nasty evil things with a good sense of humor are looking to take over See above picture of a Roach Man from the upcoming movie version Well from the moment they experience the sauce bizarroness and a mayhem o rama ensues And I didn't stop laughing until the end The plot is utterly secondary to the reading experience and what shines in this book is the attitude of the two main characters John and David when they encounter the endless stream of nightmare situations in the book They simply accept it deal with it shout out a lot of sarcasm and penis jokes and just go along for the ride At least for the most partthere are a few times when it gets to be a bit much for our heroes Case in point “No no Keep driving” said a soft voice in my ear “She will not bite if you keep driving” Fuck that Fuck that idea like the captain of the Thai Fuck Team fucking at the fucking Tour de Fuck However other than a few understandable meltdowns like when confronted by cockroach man assassins they simply attend to the matters at handno matter how batshit crazy things get There was a sound like a garbage bag of pudding dropped off a tall building onto a sidewalk Robert had erupted chunks slapping off the walls in every directionUH I did say it was gross didn't I My advice for this book is to be like John and David and just run with it Don't try too hard to keep up with the plot and just let the story take you from page to page I laughed out loud throughout the book and had a blast o matic reading it For those of you still haven't come to appreciate the wit and tone of the book from my previous excerpts here is my final attempt to win you over the emphasis is mine Somebody said my name asked if I was okay I didn't answer the sound of the commotion dying around me as the heavy monkey of sleep rested its warm furry ass on my eyelids Come on now that is just funny In summary this book is wonderful and strange has a lot of juvenile humor a couple of great main characters and an original story in both plot and tone that I thought was brilliantagain is a stupid sorta way Highly Recommended 45 to 50 stars

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John Dies at the EndAbout the invasion and the future But it's too late You touched the book You're in the game You're under the eye The only defense is knowledge You need to read this book to the end Even the part with the bratwurst Why You just have to trust meThe important thing is this The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives u. This book is not for everyone but it is certainly for meWe all know that I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old boy I can't help it Just yesterday my manager was talking to my coworkers and I about her new job at Whole Foods explaining what she would be doing which is working behind the specialty cheese counter and she spoke this little gem that slipped passed everyone's attention but mine basically I'll be cutting the cheese all day I slapped my hand to my mouth and trying to hide my giggles only made them come even fitfullyI'm laughing right now just thinking about itThat's not really an important point but I am a big fan of dick and fart jokes in all facets of life and this books' cup runneth over with them much to my enjoyment My potential favorite Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that if it had a penis of its own my penis's penis would be larger than your penis 2nd place I want to pause for a moment to talk about my penis and the ensuing section comparing sex to Disney World Verrry close 3rd place John's whole I'd show my penis right now to everybody here If we had time speechIt's not a perfect book but I don't care Fuck the kind of pretension that doesn't allow a person to just sit back and enjoy this story The whole thing was a riot I totally loved it if for no other reason than it came to me when I needed it most a la the sword of Gryffindor I have been reading Tolkien since the end of last summer and it has been wonderful really but it's so dense and demanding that lately I have been really feeling the need to take a break and read something a little less serious I found this at the bookstore popped it open to see what I was in for then wouldn't put it down If I believed in the power of prayer I would say that finding this book when I did was the answer to one Thanks universe I owe you oneAddendum I'm sorry to all of the ladies out there in the world but this book helped me to realize that as much as I long to be taken seriously as a woman of thought and value I am never going to be able to stop thinking that farts are funny I'm just not Books like this will always have a special place in my heart even if they don't make me any smarter I just have to accept that part of myself